The great debate

It all started about a week ago. I was walking out of music class with Catherine and Chloe. Catherine observed that there were more boys in the class this fall than in the summer class. I agreed but pointed out how she was sitting next to Chloe and Grace and across from two other girls.

"But," Catherine replied, "Grace is not a girl."

What? I thought through why she would say that. Grace was wearing purple pants and a cute shirt with a flower made out of buttons on it. Besides, her name is Grace.

"Why do you think that Grace is not a girl?" asks Mommy, who is hoping that Grace and her Mommy don't round the corner and hear this conversation.

"Because she has short hair," Catherine answers. "And she doesn't wear dresses."

Indeed, Grace has super-short, cropped hair. And she doesn't wear dresses either out of personal preference or because she walks to music class. But she is still a girl! So I go on to point out other examples of how there are no strict gender guidelines for appearance. Like how boys can have long hair and earrings. In fact, it reminded me of a time when Madelyn was 2 or 3 and I was doing some blood test. The tech was a young man with earrings. Madelyn pointed them out and said, "That's silly Mommy!" After turning four shades of red, I had the same talk with her as I was attempting to have with Catherine last week.

Unfortunately, Catherine and Madelyn don't share the same disposition. When Catherine is challenged she gets very emotional and combative. So her sisters and I spent the next half-hour trying to reassure her and to stabilize her shaken perception of people. We didn't talk about it again until this Saturday when once again we saw Grace. She was wearing pink pants with a purple shirt and her new sneakers look a lot like Catherine's. Catherine's verdict: Grace is a girl!